One day at a time, for the rest of our life
From the past few months, daily we are seeing many people coming up with new skills or new ways of expressing themselves from some form of art or any activity which is really good and deserves appreciation. And yes, productivity is needed. We can push ourselves and engage in tasks that we like but it’s simply not a reasonable expectation to have it from others right now.
Not all people got unmotivated and felt boredom to the core due to this pandemic. Some people felt like this before lockdown too. It’s overwhelming sometimes to be at home trying to do things that are as simple as getting out of bed and have a bath.
But it’s okay if you are doing simple things daily like sleeping for extra hours, eating simple meals, wearing simple clothes, unable to understand others around you, or not being your best.
It’s okay. Nothing is wrong with you.
“I’m not okay, you’re not okay and that’s okay” ~ Elisabeth Kubler Ross
Pandemic brought so many uncertainties with it. We mostly tend to relate this uncertainty with negative consequences as in the past there might be many things that went wrong or failed due to it. These assumptions or thoughts are referred to as overgeneralization. But there are also many things that brought positive outcomes and opportunities in our lives due to uncertainty. Uncertainty brings excitement and opportunities which make us go out of our comfort zone, learn new things, and grow out of it. So definitely, uncertainty is not the issue, our perspective and thoughts are.
There are many thought patterns or beliefs, often we engage in themselves and be habitual in that pattern, which causes more harm than good. We, humans, are all meaning-making machines. We tend to perceive the external stimulus and give it meaning from our personal viewpoints and expectations. And our perception depends upon our thinking patterns and beliefs, which finally decide how we are going to feel, behave, or act upon it.
“People see what they want to see and what people want to see isn’t always the truth” ~Roberto Bolano
Even though sometimes we can’t control our thoughts but it’s in our hands to choose what thoughts we should invest in. And this is where free-will comes into play, our personal liberation. It’s completely upon us whether we should act upon that negative or positive thought, rationally or irrationally in a right or wrong way.
All these nasty thoughts and worst-case scenarios which come in our minds sometimes take a toll on us and it’s become a vicious cycle. Sometimes it becomes difficult to control our thoughts and we feel kinda stuck. The interpretations we make about these events play a crucial role in the amount of stress we experience in our day to day interactions with other people.
“If you say you can or you can’t you are right either way” ~ Henry Ford
But the good news is, we are not stuck with the interpretations that our mind makes! Just how we learn these unhelpful thinking styles, we can unlearn it too and replace it by subscribing to better helpful thinking styles. It requires effort, patience, and lots of practice every day. But once it starts making us aware, it will get better day by day.
If you want to put an end to these unhelpful and irrational thinking patterns and improve your mental health by taking control over your emotions you can start by trying out the ‘STOP Strategy’.
Stop: Don’t act impulsively. Wait. Say ‘STOP’ to yourself as soon as you feel your mind/body are reacting to some kind of trigger. This helps to put in a space between the trigger and our response. The earlier you use STOP, the more effective and easier it will be.
Take a breath: Breath in and out a few times deeply and slowly. It will help you calm down your adrenaline rush/emotion. This helps your mind to think more rationally.
Observe: Observe and become aware of the thoughts in your mind. Notice what you’re feeling in your body, and pay attention to the urge to react impulsively. We can start to identify the vicious cycle of anxiety, anger, sadness, etc. This helps us to defuse those thoughts or feelings and reduce their power and control as a result.
Perspective: Consider the bigger picture. This is about thinking differently from your point of view. If we step back emotionally from any situation, we’ll start to see the bigger picture, reducing the weight of those distressing beliefs. You can do this by asking yourself questions.
Slowly by practice, you’ll be able to control your impulses and act rationally. We can want more positive feelings, genuine healthy relationships. We can want more knowledge and read as many books but unless we act upon it, apply it and practice we can’t progress. So practice, be patient and you’ll be able to gain what you want.
